The Better Portion

Discontentment and Media

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. Psalm 16:5-6

For many, the turn of the year marks the introduction of improvements. Many set New Year’s resolutions: dieting, learning a new skill, exercising, reading goals, daily habits, spiritual formation, etc. None of this is bad! This is not a post in disapproval of a healthy bettering of oneself. I have several goals for myself this year: delighting in prayer more and thus… praying more, beautifying our home, learning how to make extra income without sacrificing time with my husband and daughter, finishing my online degree, slowing down and enjoying the gifts God has given me.

It’s the last one that I want to focus on today. This year, more than other years, I’ve found myself thinking so much about superficial betterment that I’ve neglected to ponder what is imperishable. Namely, I’ve been struggling with discontentment. Ultimately the final blame rests on my own head for a grumpy grummbling heart. But Instagram and Pinterest are also very much to blame for this situation.

This is not a post about why social media is evil. It’s not.

It’s actually a very helpful tool.

So let’s focus on that first.

Instagram and Pinterest are sources of wonderful and distinctive inspiration. Scrolling through Pinterest and following several mamas on Instagram has given me sources from which I can mix and match and cultivate my style. I better know what I like to wear, how I like my home to look, and what sort of recipes appeal to me because of these tools.

Other than keeping up with faraway friends, this, in my opinion, is the best use of these apps. In studying outfits and décor I am able to develop creatively my home and person. Beautifying myself and my home blesses my husband and honors the Lord. He created us as individuals with individual personalities. We live in an era where we have the means to dress in such a way that suits our God-given personalities. I love that. As a wife, I have the duty to make my home inviting, beautiful, and functional. Pinterest and Instagram have provided me with ideas, organizational skills, and wisdom in this endeavor.

But they also provide me with a fountain of discontentment. For example, here’s my list of things I would like now and later for our next home.

A new hairbrush, calendar, jars for the pantry, house plants, rugs, candles and candlesticks, moka pot, gooseneck kettle, reverse osmosis filter, more vintage decor, three-tiered tray, lazy Susan for the table and for the pantry, bread box, shadow box, extra baby clothes, fridge, decor for nursery, ceramic Christmas ornaments, overalls, an immersion plunger, more skirts and dresses, organic makeup, stainless steal crockpot, new sweaters and tanks, new pots and pans, cuter dishware, new bookshelves, storage for new home, some new wall decor, throw pillows, new piano, a number of various books… and the list could probably go on. Which is mighty embarrassing.

Since getting married I find myself struggling much much more with comparison, discontentment, and even greed. In high school, all I really wanted was more bookshelf space. (Sometimes I wish I still had the mindset of that girl would couldn’t understand a desire for anything besides books.) I followed mostly my own friends on Instagram, and, as I did not always share their interests, I did not understand the whole issue of comparison and social media.

But now, I look at the influencers I follow (no blame on them), and I wish I had more clothing. I see their homes and wish I could afford a couple of nicer items for our home. I see pretty sweaters and skirts and jeans on Pinterest and wish I had that wardrobe. I see sweeter baby clothes than my daughter’s and wish I had more for her. I see discount codes, and though I know influencers are paid to advertise, I end up wanting all sorts of items we don’t need. I then turn off my phone open my closet and have *nothing* to wear. I look at our bedroom and bathroom and see all the ways in which they fall short of what I’ve recently looked at. My truer style then feels like it’s found on Pinterest, and not in what I’ve put together in my home and closet. Suddenly everyone, friends and influencers alike, has something I don’t.

And then my husband comes home to find a grumpy and distracted wife. Which is the opposite of the woman I would like my husband to come home to. Because then the little things I try to do for him before he comes home (tidy the living area, freshen myself up, make him a coffee) become fruitless if a bad attitude accompanies them. More than this, the fruit of the Spirit is not one of grumbling but one of joy (Galatians 5:22).

Here is what I should be dwelling on: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8).

There are many material goods I could list that would remind me of the Lord’s generosity to my family… namely my espresso machine (all thanks to my mother-in-law for that one!). Kidding. Material blessings are true blessings, but a list of my own would seriously defeat the purpose of this article. I don’t want you, dear reader, reading this and thinking about the things I might have that you don’t have.

Jesus taught us to pray “Give us this day our daily bread”. Day by day he provides. Day by day he provides just what we need. Dwell on what he has already provided. Material things yes, but particularly the One who is your daily bread. Jesus is our portion.

“Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.” Proverbs 30:8-9

“Look for Christ and you will find him, and with him everything else thrown in.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity